I’m at that age where A LOT of kids want something totally outrageous. Mine isn’t that outrageous. I think it’s time for you to hire me a hot butler. I know what’s on your mind right now, “no way am I getting her a hot butler.” Well before you say no, listen to my reasons why I want a hot butler. If I had a hot butler I wouldn’t get on your nerves. For example: when you ask me to clean my room, I always say “no.” But, if I had a hot butler you could ask all you want, and he could do it for me, and all the other stuff in the house that I never do. So when you ask me to do anything that involves cleaning I can just tell my butler to do it. If I had a hot butler I could go to school with him. And he could do ALL the work for me. Again I know what you’re thinking “but she wouldn’t learn if her butler did it for her.” I still would learn for your information, I just wouldn’t do the work. I would listen and pay attention, but my butler would do all the work for me. And when get home from a long boring day at school he would do my homework. Then, I could relax and not have to do a single thing my butler would do it all for me. My last reason why I should have a hot butler, when I am very very comfortable and I don’t want to get up and I’m really hungry or thirsty I wouldn’t have to get up and he could get any snack I want or any drink I want so I don’t have to get up. The main reason for this letter is because I am almost a teenager and life gets harder and harder as you get older. And since I’m ten I may not need one now. But I insist you get me one now. I NEED A HOT BUTLER NOW! HOT BUTLER SONG I got my hot butler and he’s not a juggler Did I mention he is super duper hot? And when he cooks that food it hits the spot When I want something to eat He’ll get it in a heartbeat He rubs my feet While I’m sitting in a comfy seat He’ll do whatever I say He’s the best butler Cause he likes to obey Can I keep him forever? I guess so He does all my chores from head to toe He’s the best butler in the whole state And he’s never ever once been late
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