Opinion Essays

10/26/2015

Our first writing unit was about getting what you want --by writing a persuasive opinion essay.

Students followed a list of techniques and strategies as they wrote, such as organizing using a repeated structure, tailoring their reasons to fit what the audience cares about, and using "thinking phrases" and transition words to connect ideas, among many others. You can check out the teaching chart that we used in class on the right. It's amazing how well students were able to incorporate those strategies and techniques independently into their writing. Fantastic work, students!

Students, you can publish your work by copying it into a comment on this post. Remember to reread your essay before you do that to make sure it sounds exactly the way you want readers to read it.

Parents and teachers, click on the heading of this post or the comments link to read students' opinion essays. We hope you enjoy!

25 Comments

Whitney

10/26/2015 10:57:09 am

How would you feel if you could be someone you’re not for a day? Well, that’s what could accomplish if we were allowed to wear our Halloween Costumes to school.

I think that we should be allowed to wear our Halloween Costumes to school.

One reason that we should be allowed to wear our Halloween Costumes to school is that our teachers would learn more about our favorite things and topics. For example, if I were dressed as a ghost and I came into the classroom, my teacher would say, “Huh. She likes ghosts.” It’s hard to disagree that when teachers know their students better, they can change the way they taught last years class based on how we learn. Again, I am more of a visual/auditory learner. When my, teacher starts to teach us by acting it out since that was what last year’s class learning style was like, I would be very confused. The teachers could change the way they teach based on that information. And we don’t want confused teachers or students, do we? In conclusion, learning about us students would be very profitable to the teachers and to the student her/himself.

A second reason we should be allowed to wear our Halloween Costumes to school is that it allows kids to show off their originality. This is important because when kids are creative, it opens up their minds to new ideas. For example, choosing and/or making costumes require a lot of planning and effort, as well as getting to be someone else for a day. And if a kid is feeling very down about themselves, a day as someone else could be just what they need. In addition, it allows teachers to cram as much info as possible into their brains. When a kid wants to learn, they do. So, when a kid is feeling important and special in their very own way, that makes them want to learn just as much as they can. I don’t particularly know why this happens like it does, I just know that it’s a human thing. I have felt this before, and it is one of the best feelings ever. It makes you feel accepted by your classmates and friends.And this feeling is like liquid gold for teachers wanting to make a lasting impression on their students . In conclusion, being creative is essential to the learning process, and that is exactly what we could accomplish with our Halloween Costumes.

A final reason we should be allowed to wear our Halloween Costumes to school is that it shows kids that not everybody is the same. For example, if I were a Kindergartener and I saw a witch, then saw a ghost, that would make me think, “Wow. Those are different!” In addition, when kids know that everybody is the same, they are inspired to be unique. Furthermore, when kids are unique, it makes them feel that feeling that I described above. That feeling works in younger kid too! As a result of this, these kids walk into school strutting their stuff and ready to learn. Fortunately, this feeling is contagious, so soon you’ll have a whole bunch of kids sitting enthusiastically at their desks. In conclusion, wearing Halloween Costumes inspire kids to be their own kind of unique and make them want to learn, learn, learn!

As you can see, we should be able to wear our Halloween Costumes to school because the teachers would be able to learn more about us, we would get to show off our creativity, and we would get to show that not everybody is the same. We are the future of this country. Don’t you want to do anything possible to help your students?

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 09:08:05 pm

Dear Whitney,

Very compelling argument! I love how you reached out to your audience and persuaded them that we should be allowed to wear our Halloween costumes using details that they care about. Nice job perspective-taking. I also like how you went back again and revised to add more specific details!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Whitney

11/1/2015 10:29:25 am

Dear Ms.Kimball,
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Whitney

Ben

10/27/2015 10:31:21 am

Ben schroeder Kid shouldn’t feel like butlers 9/15/2015

How would you feel if your parents told you to get everything for them.? I think that kids shouldn’t be treated like butlers!
One reason kid shouldn’t be treated like butlers is they wouldn’t get stuff done, such as homework or practicing in their favorite activity. In other words the kids wouldn’t get good scores in school and wouldn’t get good at their favorite activity to do. They also would have to stay home from school to help their family members when they’re sick. In other words this would get the child far behind it school and would not be able to graduate school because they would be so far behind.
Another reason why kids shouldn’t be treated like butlers is because the people that are asking the kids to do stuff would get lazy. This would be bad because people would get out of shape. this is bad because it’s hard to exercise and stay healthy when you're out of shape. This would also be bad because people can die when they’re out of shape. Also people would get used to a butler and when they go off to college they would make their roommate very anoud. In other words they wouldn’t get good grades in school because they would be too worried about a butler.
My final reason that kids shouldn’t be treated like butlers is because the kids wouldn’t feel good. This is bad because the kid would feel sad and run away. For example the kid would run away and maybe never come back. This could break up a good relationship with the family and the kid.
As you can see kids being treated like butler is bad because the kids won’t get stuff done, people would get lazy, and the kids wouldn’t feel good. If kids wouldn’t be treated like butler the family might have a stronger relationship.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 08:51:44 pm

Dear Ben,

Great job using an organized structure to frame your arguments. It really makes your points about why kids shouldn't be treated like butlers more powerful.

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

August

10/27/2015 10:32:08 am

Pine Hill Should Have Independent Shares

Imagine this…….
being at a school that on every Friday you would get to see a independent share of some sort. The independent share could be playing the saxophone to doing magic tricks. Pine Hill should have independent shares at all school meeting.

One reason Pine Hill should have independent shares at all school meeting is because student would have a chance to share their talent. For example t would be good to share their talent because the student that was sharing their talent could inspire to try new things. Also showing your talent would help teachers get to know your interests and talents. In addition students could conquer their stage fright by doing something they like doing on stage. As a result you could share you talent with the whole school.

Another reason Pine Hill should have independent shares at all school meeting is because it would be a satisfying way to get to know people you have never met. For example, if a new student came into your grade you could get to know them if they shared at all school meeting. Also your teacher gave a writing project to learn more and you were not the best writer your teacher could learn more if you shared at all school meeting. As a result other would get to know you better.

Another reason Pine Hill should have independent shares is because having independent shares would be a good way to keep the audience entertained. For example, all school meeting gets more boring every year. But if Pine Hill had independent shares it would keep the audience entertained. In addition, we sing a lotttttttttt of songs at all school meeting and to be honest I do not think that the school likes singing about five songs ever Friday. So we could take out some songs and replace the songs with some independent shares. Therefore if the school had independent shares it would definitely keep me entertained.

The last reason Pine Hill should have independent shares is because students would be proud after sharing. For example, say a student was having a bad day and was going to share at all school meeting and after sharing the student would go from having a bad day to having a good day. In addition if a student shared and conquered their stage fright the student would be proud. As a result students would be proud after sharing.

As you can see, Pine Hill should have independent shares because having independent shares would give students an opportunity to share their talent, It would be a satisfying way to get to know other people, it would be a good way to keep the audience entertained, and after sharing students would be proud. Independent shares would make Pine Hill a happier place.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 08:54:53 pm

Dear August,

You have so many thoughtful reasons for why we should have independent shares at All School Meeting and you presented them very clearly. I like how you used the organized structure to make your argument more persuasive and more powerful.

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Trisha

10/27/2015 10:32:34 am

Persuasive Essay

Ever woken up in the morning and just thought, I don’t have enough time in the morning to get ready. Well I know I have! I think that school should start later in the morning for many reasons.

One reason that school should start later in the morning is because students don’t have enough rest. I believe that we should have more sleep because teachers can’t teach a class when there is no one listening. For example, most kids who go to sleep at 8:00 PM are still tired in the morning to go to school. Especially the kids that live in Boston who have to wake up at about 5:00 AM to go to school. The latest kids can wake up and not be late for school is 7:00 AM. So whenever they go to sleep they still have to wake up very early. Teachers don’t want to teach children who don’t listen.

Another reason that I believe school should start later in the morning is because we don’t get enough breakfast. Also a lot of the time students ask their teacher “when is snack?” when their teacher is busy or helping another student. This makes teachers mad and then after talking to that student, the teacher would forget what they were talking about which makes everybody lose focus. If school started later we would have more time for breakfast and would be focused for every lesson. Therefore, teachers won’t have to stop their lesson for us to have snack.

The last reason I think that school should start later in the morning is because teachers can have more time in the morning to take care of their family, prepare the lessons for that day, or go to a meeting if they have to. If a teacher is at a meeting in the morning they need to get a substitute to fill in. More importantly, usually the substitute doesn’t know what we are learning so we don’t get the learning experience that we usually do with our teacher. Meanwhile, other teachers have a family and have to drop their kids off at school or feed them breakfast. Some teachers have babies who need attention from their parents (and other requirements). Also, teachers can have more time to prepare for the lessons of that day. Otherwise they would have to rush during their free time to pull the lessons together.

As you can see, school should start later in the morning because children can get more sleep, students can get more breakfast, and so teachers can have more time to take care of their family or prepare for the school day. I know I need some more time, and I think that you agree and want more time in the morning too.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 08:59:57 pm

Dear Trisha,

I am so impressed with your essay! You have almost perfect English mechanics and your essay is expertly organized. Most importantly, you did a fantastic job formulating clear, compelling reasons to support your main argument. All of your details are meaningful to your audience. I was amazed at how you were able to take the perspective of a teacher. You really know what we do in the mornings!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

jansyn

10/27/2015 10:32:50 am

Every 4 grades should get a boston bus.

How would you feel if you were driving to work with everybody screaming?
If you were the bus driver you would hate it more because you have to concentrate while driving a big truck read more to find out.

The first reason Every 4 grades should get a boston bus is we should be able to sit by ourselves. I think we should be able to sit by ourselves because we don’t have to be all cramped up in a seat . It will be easier to do my homework on the bus because I can have the seat to myself. We might get the seats in the back so we don’t have to wait till the 12th grade to sit in the back of the bus.

Another reason every 4 grades should get a boston bus is it would be easier for the bus driver. Because he or she won’t have to go to all the stops there use to be. It also would be easier for the bus driver because he could get to places he has to be earlier.The bus driver won’t be so hot and he won’t have to be with kids all day.

My last reason every 4 grades should get a boston bus is we could get to are stops faster. For example if we got to are stops faster our parents won’t be mad because we are not late. If we got off at are stops faster I can have more time to do my homework at the boys & girls club. If I got off the bus faster I would always get my homework in on time and never forget my homework.

So if we do get the boston busses I will do what I just said in my essay.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 09:02:27 pm

Dear Jansyn,

Great job reaching out to your audience in your intro. You helped me imagine how difficult it is to ride a crowded Boston bus everyday to and from school. I like how you thought about things from the bus driver's perspective!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Whitney

11/1/2015 10:34:12 am

Dear Jansyn,
I really liked your essay. When you said "if I got off the bus faster I would get all my homework done and in on time", I was considering your reasoning. I get off last from my bus and still get my homework done. Why would it help you get it done opposed to a little bit later?
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Whitney

Emily

10/27/2015 10:34:49 am

Convenient Ball Bins ‘R Life

Have you ever suffered from dangerous, cumbersome and disturbing ball bins?Wouldn't it be better if they weren't so annoying? I believe we need convenient ball bins.

Meanwhile why we need convenient ball bins is because our ball bins are dangerous. As a result, a ball bin could have a loose wheel and topple over on top of you. Also, sometimes the lid falls off and lands at your heel and can leave a scratch. In addition, the ball bin can be so full the balls will roll out on to the road and thats how a very dangerous accident could happen. This means that our ball bins are super dangerous.

Another reason why we need convenient ball bins is because ball bins can be super cumbersome. This makes me think, little kids can't handle the heaviness of the ball bins. Also you would be likely to pull a muscle from pulling it. An example about how ball bins can be cumbersome is kids try to pull ball bins when they are not strong enough and might hurt himself or herself. This means that, our ball bins are too cumbersome!!

The final reason why we need convenient ball bins is because ball bins can be disturbing. For example, kids don't want to carry a dirty and unstable ball bin to recess also I don't think you want your students carrying trash barrels out to recess. I believe that ball bins make a mouthful of nasty noise. Another thing is ball bins also have a rough material mostly because ball bins are just trash barrels but they might rub against you.Therefore,this means that our ball bins are super disturbing.

As you can see Pine Hill School should get convenient ball bins instead of cumbersome, dangerous and disturbing trash barrels. When we (the students) think about we need convenient ball bins.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 09:05:47 pm

Dear Emily,

You make a very strong argument for why we need better bins for our recess balls. I love how you used the word "cumbersome" to describe them. Totally accurate! One of my favorite details you wrote was, "I don't think you want your students carrying trash barrels out to recess." Great point!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Maggie

10/27/2015 10:34:59 am

Imagine you're an 13 year old kid and your mom says “you need to hold my hand when you cross the street.” At 13 years old! This is why I think kids should have more Independence at the age of 10-14.

One reason kids need more Independence is for the transition to middle school. In middle school us kids use bells as our direction to go to our next class. We should start by having a bell in elementary school telling us to go to lunch. We all go at separate times. Also in middle school we get PACKED with homework. Our teachers should start lowering us slowly with more homework. That would build up our independence. Lastly in middle school you make a lot of different decisions (especially at the beginning). For instance in the hallway when you get lost looking for classroom and you come to a fork in the hallway you think left or right? Some people don’t have a enough independence to go ask someone for help. We need to build that independence higher. We can, if we give kids the opportunity.

Another reason kids should have more independence is because parents can get a lot of rest. For example, parents, you know how you're always making dinner? If you let your kids have more independence they can make dinner for you! Also with your kids having more independence you can finally go out to to that lovely restaurant that your kids don’t like going to. You can go there because your kids are independent enough to stay home alone. Finally your kids allowance. Once your kids are independent enough they can make there own money. They don’t need an allowance! Your lives can get so much better parents! You just need to give you kids a chance.

The last reason kids need more independence is that it will give kids will be more likeable. It will make kids likeable because independence equals maturity. For example Independence means homework getting done and good grades. This means a good college. Another example is that getting a job will be easy. With your Independence and maturity at your side you can’t not get a job! Another example is the kids will be able to handle money well. Handling money well ensures good things for the future.

As you can see Kids should have more independence because of the transition to middle school, parents can get a rest, and that independence will make kids likeable. Your kids want a good future because they are the future. Let's give kids a future that they'll remember.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 09:16:30 pm

Dear Maggie,

I am very impressed at how you were able to write such a thoughtful, well-organized essay even after being out sick for a week. Amazing effort! I liked how you reached out to your audience, especially parents. You really tried to focus on things your audience cares about!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Maggie

1/24/2016 07:54:38 pm

Dear Ms.kimball,
Thanks for the feedback!
From,
Maggie

Caitlin

10/27/2015 10:36:52 am

We Should Not Have Early Releases

We should not have early releases because we will have to have are parents come home early and watch us compared to if we didn't have early releases we would have a full day at school and are parents will not have to come home and watch us. Also if we do not have early releases we will have more time to learn and we will be prepared for MCAS.
Finally we should not have early releases because we will get out of school earlier in the summer.

One reason we shouldn't have early releases is because we will get more work done. If we don't have early releases we will get more time on Wednesdays to learn. For example we would be able to work from 8:30 to 3:00 instead of only working from 8:30 to 12:00 that is about 3 more hours of learning. Also when MCAS comes we will be super ready because we would have been practicing more of the MCAS subjects because we have had more time.

Another reason why we shouldn't have early releases is because we would get out of school earlier. This benefits us because we would get to be free and explore the world more and spend more time with are family. Also another reason we shouldn’t have early releases is because we can really go to different places with are family. When we spend more time with our family we get learn about them more and make more memories together. Finally when we get out earlier in the summer we will be able to really be kids and find out what we really like. We will also get to rest and not be so bus because we will have no homework.

Also another reason that we shouldn't have early releases is because our parents won't have to come home early. When we have early releases most parents have to come home early because they don't want their kids home alone. For example parents usually go to work from 9:00 to 5:00 but if we have early releases parents will only be at work from 9:00 to 12:00 that means parents will be coming home 5 hours earlier than they usually do. Next some parents have to make up the time that he missed because they had to watch their kids and will have to stay at work longer and will not get to see their kids. Not seeing your kids is very hard on the adult and the kid.

In conclusion we should not have early releases because we will get out of school earlier in the summer. Also we shouldn't have early releases because we will have more time to work and learn. Finally we should not have early releases is because our parents will have to come home early because they don't want us to be home by ourselves.

Ms. Kimball

10/27/2015 09:12:26 pm

Dear Caitlin,

Very thoughtful argument. You worked hard to think of compelling reasons that matter to your audience for why we shouldn't have early releases. Your essay is also highly organized!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Anthony

10/27/2015 10:37:21 am

Persuasive Writing
We must condense our Homework

Imagine a world with 5 pages of homework every single day. That would be tiring. It is hard to disagree that students don’t like homework, so why not condense the amount of homework we give out? I believe that we must condense the amount of homework.

One reason why that we must condense the amount of homework is because people get stressed out.This is bad for the person’s nerve cells, and panicking is something all students. In other words, it is bad for the student’s health, and teachers care about very deeply about this because they want active students, not zombies moaning and not doing their work.

Another reason why we must condense the amount of homework because students get it done on time.For example, after their long activity after school, they will only have a short amount of homework and have it done by the time of the end of the car ride. This shows that the teacher will be proud of the student for completing their homework.It will also benefit the students time on what they would like to do with their free time.

The last reason why we must condense the amount of homework is because
when students do their homework at the last second, they rush. In addition,
the student will not do their best work when they rush, and teachers want student not to rush so they can do their best work. The student will also not be satisfied
with their work.

As you can see, we must condense the amount of homework because students get stressed out which causes health problems, they get it done on time and rush if students have more homework. It will help them learn step by step.

Ms. Kimball

10/28/2015 09:06:50 pm

Dear Anthony,

I really like how you thought about your audience (teachers like me!) and tried to persuade them (us) based on things we care about. Healthy students doing their best work on time is important to me!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

Kate

10/27/2015 10:37:51 am

I Should go to Pony Farm.

Dear mom and dad,

How would you feel if you could have a break for 2 weeks without 3 kids weighing you down. Wouldn't it be better if you could just relax. I believe that I should go to Pony Farm.

One reason that I should go to Pony Farm is because I will use my time well. For example I won't be watching tv all day, and by not watching tv for 2 weeks that means that I wouldn't get a strain on my eyes, even though I have never got a strain on my eyes. Also my self would get a lot of fresh air which makes my lungs healthier and I would breath way better, don't you want my lungs to be as healthy as possible and don't you want me to have better breathing and by having healthy lungs I can live longer. In addition I would be working my muscles out by carrying buckets of water and wheelbarrow full of horse poop and all other kinds of things and by making my muscles stronger it makes my immune system stronger too, which means I would have a higher chance of not getting sick. This means my whole body will be healthier and if I am healthier that makes me happier and don't you want me to be happy and healthy.

Another reason why I should go to Pony Farm is because then you my mom and dad can have a break for 2 weeks to do whatever with out 3 kids in the way. For example if I am at Pony Farm and Matt and Joe are at lacrosse camp then you would have a 2 whole weeks, to yourself to just relax and not drive around everywhere. Also if i'm at Pony Farm you guys can hang with your grown up friends like you never get to do because you are with your kids. In addition you could sleep in for as long as you like with out waking up early like you always have to do. This means that you guys can have a huge break with 3 kids not around doesn't that sound wonderful 2 whole weeks just to yourself.

A final reason why I should go to Pony Farm is because I will learn a lot of responsibility because by going to Pony Farm I will need to take care of my own horse wich will teach me responsibility. If I have responsibility then I will go farther in life. How I would go farther in life by becoming more responsible people will trust me more and I could get a really good job and get a lot of money, don't you want me to be wealthy and have a good career and and a lot of money, also I will give money to you guys so you can do whatever you want, don't you want to be able to do whatever you want. Also you always want Matt, Joe, and I to be responsible so why don't I be the first and set a good example for Matt and Joe and maybe they can be more responsible. Wouldn't it be nice with 3 kids that are responsible. This means that my self would have a lot of responsibility.

As you can see I should go to Pony Farm because I would use my time well, You guys can have a break for 2 whole weeks, and I would have a lot of responsibility.

Ms. Kimball

10/28/2015 09:13:40 pm

Dear Kate,

I am very impressed at how you thought about what your audience (your mom and dad) cares about and wrote specific details to make your arguments more persuasive. It would be hard to say "no" to your request to go to Pony Farm!

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

DeAngi

10/27/2015 10:38:04 am

PEOPLE SHOULD STOP LITTERING

Have you ever sat on a bench with a moldy hamburger right beside you? Wouldn’t it be better if people stopped littering and start to pick up litter. I believe that if people stopped littering the world would be a better place.

One reason why I want people to stop littering is because it’s a hazard for the environment. If for example, a population of snakes dies from eating rat poison. Then all around the area mice started to spread, eating and drinking from the farmers farm. They will also pee and poop in the water, plants, and the meat. Also, how would you feel if there were trash on a bench or something littered on the playground. You look closer and figure out that it’s from Mcdonald's.Then you see the cutest thing in the world, but dead. If you were the person who littered and figured out the animal was dead. How would you feel? In addition to that you see bleach, dreaded bleach near a tree. Tossed there even though there was a trash can right next to it. The bleach was full and the cap was off. The tree that soothes you when mad, now dead.Now that the tree is dead the tree company had to cut the tree down because sooner or later it will fall down. Now there is only a stump where the tree once lived. This means that there is less oxygen. If there were half of the trees we have now, human life would be gone because there isn’t enough oxygen to breath. So that means if that one single person just walked over and put the bleach in the trash can, your tree would still be there.

Another reason why people should stop littering is because it would just be plain gross. For example, if somebody ate from Burger King and left a half eaten burger on a bench, you would be grossed out right? Somebody's silvia is on that burger. You slowly move away but you think it’s moving towards you. Once it it gets “closer” you can see the mold inside. Then you decided to get up and walk away. The next day you come you not only see the burger again, you see it’s friend the sandwich. Also picture this, you're walking down your favorite meadow, but figured out it was covered with napkins, soda cans, plastic bags, and more. Your favorite spot covered in litter, and grubs in the food. Trees dying because of that filthy mess. Disappointed, you go home like nothing happened. But inside you’re crying your heart and soul off.

A final reason why people should stop littering is because there would be pollution in the things we eat and drink. For example if there was meat on a hot day then it will start rotting. Then when the person eats the food then he/she might get really sick. Also would you drink contaminated water? I’m guessing no. So imagine this, you throw away somebodys trash and you think you're doing the right thing. You throw the thing, and miss by a mile into a river. You think “ I tried” then you go home. Then you drink some water that doesn’t have a filter. The next day you get sick and wonder why. Then you researched it and you knew “ I should have never threw that’’ because that river, leads to a water reservoir.

So in conclusion If people stopped littering then the world would be cleaner because there would be nothing to step on and nothing to see that is filthy.
You can litter as much as you want, but think about what I said. Would you want to do something like that?

Ms. Kimball

10/28/2015 09:20:06 pm

Dear DeAngi,

You really painted a descriptive picture with words of how awful the world is with litter. I can tell you are very passionate about this issue! You helped your readers imagine different negative outcomes if they are not more careful with their trash.

Sincerely,
Ms. Kimball

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